Summary
- Love Virtually is an ensemble comedy that explores a society obsessed with social media and virtual reality, drawing parallels to our post-COVID world.
- The film suffers from budget restraints and underwhelming actors, aside from Cheri Oteri and Stephen Tobolowsky.
- Love Virtually drags on due to its attempt to incorporate numerous real-world metaphors and references, and viewers may feel fatigued by it.
If you’re too scared to ask out your crush, why not enter the Metaverse and try to meet them that way? Love Virtually, a new ensemble comedy from co-writer/producer/director/co-star L.E. Staiman, explores said notion and dares us to accept a society obsessed with the Metaverse and other virtual reality-type norms that the real world has grown accustomed to as of late, especially in these post-COVID lockdown times. Sound familiar?
The feature film, which is out now, even pokes fun at the various controversies surrounding the coronavirus pandemic, but it’s not enough to trump the elephants in the room — that Love Virtually suffers from budget restraints and underwhelming actors, besides Cheri Oteri (SNL) and Stephen Tobolowsky (Groundhog Day), of course. Despite its tight duration, Love Virtually seems to drag on, and viewers may quickly feel fatigued from all the real-world metaphors and parallels Staiman tries to jam in.
‘I’m Not Crazy About Reality’
Groucho Marx once said, “I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.” This is also the opening title card of Love Virtually, thereby setting the Metaverse stage for what’s to come. This includes the two main-ish characters, Roddy Danger (Peter Gilroy) and girlfriend Kimberly (Paige Mobley). Actually, they just broke up, and Roddy’s out for blood — or rather, to win her back. And if that means fighting a Metaverse celeb to the virtual death, then so be it! Meet Kalvin Kluck (Staiman), a hotshot on the web with a cheesy catchphrase. Picture yourself saying, “Cool!” but replace it every time with “subscribe.” That’s how often Kluck uses it, just to paint a picture. It’s funny at first, but at a certain point, you may just say out loud, “OK, we get it!”
Another good illustration of the times here: Broadcast news in Love Virtually favors these kinds of VR fights over deadly pandemic updates. So it’s big news when Roddy loses his fight to Kalvin but then decides he will still stop at nothing to win Kimberly back. He reaches out for advice from her best friend Clarissa (Nikki Howard), who has her own problems after being canceled for posting a “mud mask” selfie that looked racially insensitive to the public. For her own advice, she turns to her therapist, Dr. Evelyn (Oteri), who has a sexy little VR fling with life coach Dr. Divine (Tobolowsky). There is a wonderful little twist in this affair that surfaces later on, and we won’t spoil it here.
It’s not just Clarissa who’s been canceled. Meet famed e-sports player La Monte (Vincent Washington), whose story mirrors real-life NBA player Rudy Gobert and the COVID spread he started back in March 2020. He’s trying to bounce back after taking heat for spreading the virus and turns to his agent pal Barry (Ryan O’Flanagan), who happens to see Dr. Divine for his own therapy with wife Angela (Ksenia Valenti). Barry inherited his e-sports representation career trajectory from his hard-nosed dad Richard, played by Tom Virtue. If not for veteran actors like Virtue, who Even Stevens fans will enjoy seeing, Love Virtually may have even been a tougher sit-through.
But more important than daddy issues, Barry is stressed because his wife Angela is cheating on him — with a Nordstrom promotional “bot,” whose “grandfather” is the iconic Microsoft Word paperclip, Clippy. No, I’m not kidding. Love Virtually succeeds by leaning into this absurdism, but that’s about it in terms of perks of the film. As Barrry and Angela bicker, Dr. Divine can’t help to distract himself with thoughts of his secret lover, Dr. Evelyn, who has also taken on a new client in Roddy from earlier, thanks to Clarissa’s referral. And Clarissa keeps herself busy by going undercover on a “Soul-Date” dating app to find true love, without revealing herself to be the alleged racist under fire. La Monte does the same, trying to conceal his COVID-spreader identity, and the two end up connecting on the app. What are the chances?! Oteri and Tobolowsky are far more fun to watch, and it’s too bad we don’t see more of them…
‘Subscribe!’ (or Don’t)
Meanwhile, Clarissa’s pal Kimberly still won’t give Roddy the time of day, so Roddy explores the sort of “dark web” to gain access to an exclusive nightclub he knows she’ll be attending that night. Also happening that day, e-sports agent Barry and La Monte plan to have a meeting that Richard set up, but wife Angela warns him that it’s all a setup to hack La Monte’s avatar — by none other than…the Russians! Yes, here is yet another callout to real-world headlines that have dominated the news in recent years.
Other potential laugh-out-loud moments include Kimberly’s avatar shamelessly plugging an energy drink during her casual conversation with Kalvin at the nightclub, effectively calling out social media influencers’ endless mission to hype random consumer brands. Some brawls soon break out at the club, leaving certain characters questioning their fate and continuously asking, “If you die in VR, will you die in the real world?” Fans of The Matrix will certainly recognize this line of thinking. Even Roddy’s character puts a VR spin on Ferris Bueller’s iconic last line, “Life moves pretty fast…”
With a bigger budget that could allow for sexier animations and more seasoned young actors, combined with a tighter script with more layered character development, Staiman’s new feature could very well have made it to the big screen. Instead, Love Virtually is now on digital and on demand.
